One of my girlfriends, I have known as long as we’ve been walking. A few years ago she was dating a Russian guy who was terrible for her. She knew this, and staying with him seriously damaged her relationship with her sister and her mum at the time. However, he had bullied her into believing she loved him, so she stayed.
I knew that her family had their own issues with them, but it became apparent to me what a waste of space he was when they were “kind” enough to set me up with one of his friends. We met for an after work drink in the city. He worked in I.T. and over the two hours of the date he spoke about himself, and I.T. and judo. I think I had 2 opportunities to speak – and for those of you who know me that is ABSURD! We had nothing in common: I had a bad case of the travel bug ≠ he had never left the Eastern Suburbs; I loved sport and being outdoors ≠ he loved sitting at his computer; I loved socialising ≠ he was socially deficient. This just wasn’t going to happen.
When I told my girlfriend I wasn’t interested, she accepted it but I soon became the target of the boyfriends Facebook and text abuse. I don’t take abuse very well, if someone yells at me I yell back and I’m a bit of a spiteful cow really. I had no love lost for this idiot, so when he told me that I was shallow for not wanting to pursue something, for leading his friend on (…by telling him I wasn’t interested???????) and that Brad Pitt was waiting for me around the corner, I lashed out. I don’t regret the honesty I laid all over him.
Anyway the reason this is on my mind…Another girlfriend of mine is married to an import. He came to Australia to study for a year and they ended up married with a beautiful 3 year old and twins on the way.
I got a message from him a couple of days ago asking if I had any single friends who would be interested in an import who he recently employed. This kid is 26, according to his Facebook profile he’s cute, ex-army and now studying and living in Sydney.
I did In fact have someone in mind. She checked out his photo and even though he isn’t her type, she said “Why not” and with her approval, I passed on her phone number.
Yesterday she called me saying “Look Kate, I’m sure he is a great guy, but his English isn’t great and you know, talking is kind of important, and also he is only in Australia for 6 months”.
This friend of mine is a gem, she oozes sexy. She is about my height with short blonde “poodle-esque” curls – you know those really tight little curls? Awesome boobs and a butt that shakes as good as any African woman. She is super confident, has a great job, comes from a wonderful family so checks all the morals/values boxes. Why she can’t find a decent man to keep her is beyond me! When I told my friend’s husband that the match wasn’t going to work out, he called her shallow. How dare he make assumptions! I jumped to her defence!!
While at times I personally chased flings with international students BECAUSE they had an expiry date, this isn’t appealing anymore. The older we get the longer term we look. Sometimes I wonder if it is worth telling the truth – “Does my butt look big in this?”; “Was that as good for you as it was for me?”; “Have you paid off your credit card yet?”; “Why wasn’t she interested in dating him?”. Is it less painful to tell a little white lie?